Meanwhile in Russia

Desired future

When it comes to making decisions and figuring out what I really want I have certain  behavioral pattern: ostrich-like, nervous, stressed, freaking out, depressed.
Put it in another words, I am not really good in planning nor deciding.

And what is your way to decide what is the best?

Into the new year

You know how some people are Muslim on Friday, totally devoted Jews on Saturday and keep european traditions of chill out on Sunday? Had to gain inspiration from that. So, here I am, posting on the first day of the New Year! No matter it's Chinese.

I've been through this and that but who want's to hear mournings, right. For that reason I've decided not to occupy your mind with plain words - which I am a specialist at doing - and just post a picture. Woman topic as always, of course. Now I have fulfilled my procrastination duties and can get back to studying.

Whatifism

Whatifism, also commonly known as main content of girl's thoughts, is a very catchy religion. You don't even have time to count to two and you already catch yourself asking "What if...?" in your mind. You see? Very catchy.

Drunk drawings

Just that feeling of casual happiness which you randomly experience after appropriate amount of wine glasses, when the world is so nice and easy, everyone is cool and beautiful and nothing really matters.  Usually leads to finding all the worlds injustices the morning after (first of all, I did not deserve that headache!), but is still worth it.

To sex or not to sex

Sheldon: So we multiply 193, minus 21 men before the loss of virginity, so 172 times 0.18 gives us 30.96 sexual partners. Let’s roAund that up to 31.
Penny: Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong. That is not even close to the real number. I’m gonna need a drink over here.
Amy: This is very interesting. Cultural perceptions are subjective. Penny, to your mind, are you a slut?

No. This is not to say I had 31 sexual partners. Nowhere close to the real number, okay? I just came across so many different opinions in the last days it made me think about it a bit.

It all started when my friend from another country came to visit. You know, she is the one who will always be waffling about all those boys, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends and potential boyfriends you are pretty sure she must be a relationship godess. To the fullest. And just then in one of your conversations she dropped conveniently: "But I didn't sleep with any of those boys. I'm still a virgin." leaving me speechless and staring for a few moments.
Yep, she's been dating boys. Some of them for a few months, some of them for a few years. Never slept with any of them. Does it also cross your mind? That thought? WTF? Well, no fu*k to be honest but the question still quite adequate. When I asked why she refused to have sex she said it was that she didn't want to give those man everything available on her little market. That sounded as a pretty weird concept, something oldschool. But I pretty much know I shouldn't have tried explaining my position by saying that you sometimes sleep with people because you both want to and that's not much more to it. Because I didn't want to hear the answer she had to tell me: "Yes, I noticed. All this deep throat kissing in the streets here. You are pretty much frivolous in relationships in Europe, right?" Gulp. Shit. Are we that much? So I thought I'll look around at my friends, some media and so to give her an answer.

*
About the same time I was chatting with a friend of mine who read some statistics about average number of sexual partners here in Czech republic. The statistics said five. My friend thought they surveyed mostly between pre-school children, monks and nuns. Gulp.
*
I am not writing this to prove most of my friends are sexually outstanding. I think they are pretty much normal  judging by standarts we most commonly apply. Anyway, another friend of my was questioning this "which date should a girl sleep with you" thing. Sleeping on the first date is mostly considered to be a rather slutty thing to do plus it lowers your chances to ever meet your partner again by 50% at least. Second or third date is more probable and fourth date is like has-to-happen. If not, it will many times be considered as "she probably doesn't want me". Funny but tends to be true as is based on Daily Mail article and survey. I think this do-sth'n'go concept spread really rapidly now turning into have-sex'n'go. Gulp. 
*
Just the thing I heard: "I rather sleep with a guy on one of the first days. Why? Jeez, it's obvious - what if I date him for one month and then he just sucks?"
*
And other thing I heard: "If they did sleep together? I don't really know but I doubt they didn't. Why? Well, how can you be so obsessed about someone without sleeping with him?"

I guess my friend left with a feeling Europe is the most promiscuous place ever. It didn't really help last evening we went to an aquapark and you know what some couples do in jacuzzi. In this case about three couples and three different jacuzzis.
Also I failed to make a point I was originally heading to - it's just that we've learned to live with our sexuality like inteligent humans - using it for pleasure, not being obsessed or taking it as something extraordinary. When I first tried to talk about it while we sat in a sauna, I was interrupted by my friend saying: "Don't you want to put your towel back up? That man has been staring at your boobs for last ten minutes and by now he looks pretty obsessed."

Story of one relationship

It begun one evening, when I read Facebook status. It said: "Would anyone take a dog for temporary care?" I don't know what was it that moved me, but I started texting, calling, organizing and within few hours I was picking you at some petrol station.

You were a real personality already and looked twice bigger than it seemed from pictures. You looked pretty self confident and tried to escape the moment I opened the car's door. I'll never forgive myself that I left you home alone the first evening. But I guess you punished me by picking my pillow to be your bed and by making a pee next morning just in front of the elevator while neighbours were watching. 

I always felt it was you who was walking me. As every rational male you barked at the dogs which scared you and never came when I called. You were also very male to all the female - just a few sniffs, a bit of tail wiggling and bye-bye, let's move to the next one.

You were great. Strong personality, choosy and moody. It was temporary between us for a few months. I was showing you to warious people interested in adoption, you always embarassed us both by making a poo in the middle of a flower-bad. Then there was the time for the final decision and I just couldn't let you go. You stayed and I thought it was for ever. 

But we had only few months before you left. Forever. During one month when you were sick I understood how are people able to commit their whole life to some one thing like science. If scientists are as into their researches as I was into searching all the possible sources to find out how to help you, I utterly understand them. There is nothing you want but to finally solve it. It was one month of hope, despair, tears and your patience. Despite all the tubes around you, all the pain and suffering you never produced a sound. One day you just passed away and since that time I feel tears each time a see the rainbow. 

This is a farewell I should have written a long long time ago. So it's not even a farewell anymore. It's more of a tribute.