Whatifism

Whatifism, also commonly known as main content of girl's thoughts, is a very catchy religion. You don't even have time to count to two and you already catch yourself asking "What if...?" in your mind. You see? Very catchy.

Drunk drawings

Just that feeling of casual happiness which you randomly experience after appropriate amount of wine glasses, when the world is so nice and easy, everyone is cool and beautiful and nothing really matters.  Usually leads to finding all the worlds injustices the morning after (first of all, I did not deserve that headache!), but is still worth it.

To sex or not to sex

Sheldon: So we multiply 193, minus 21 men before the loss of virginity, so 172 times 0.18 gives us 30.96 sexual partners. Let’s roAund that up to 31.
Penny: Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong. That is not even close to the real number. I’m gonna need a drink over here.
Amy: This is very interesting. Cultural perceptions are subjective. Penny, to your mind, are you a slut?

No. This is not to say I had 31 sexual partners. Nowhere close to the real number, okay? I just came across so many different opinions in the last days it made me think about it a bit.

It all started when my friend from another country came to visit. You know, she is the one who will always be waffling about all those boys, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends and potential boyfriends you are pretty sure she must be a relationship godess. To the fullest. And just then in one of your conversations she dropped conveniently: "But I didn't sleep with any of those boys. I'm still a virgin." leaving me speechless and staring for a few moments.
Yep, she's been dating boys. Some of them for a few months, some of them for a few years. Never slept with any of them. Does it also cross your mind? That thought? WTF? Well, no fu*k to be honest but the question still quite adequate. When I asked why she refused to have sex she said it was that she didn't want to give those man everything available on her little market. That sounded as a pretty weird concept, something oldschool. But I pretty much know I shouldn't have tried explaining my position by saying that you sometimes sleep with people because you both want to and that's not much more to it. Because I didn't want to hear the answer she had to tell me: "Yes, I noticed. All this deep throat kissing in the streets here. You are pretty much frivolous in relationships in Europe, right?" Gulp. Shit. Are we that much? So I thought I'll look around at my friends, some media and so to give her an answer.

*
About the same time I was chatting with a friend of mine who read some statistics about average number of sexual partners here in Czech republic. The statistics said five. My friend thought they surveyed mostly between pre-school children, monks and nuns. Gulp.
*
I am not writing this to prove most of my friends are sexually outstanding. I think they are pretty much normal  judging by standarts we most commonly apply. Anyway, another friend of my was questioning this "which date should a girl sleep with you" thing. Sleeping on the first date is mostly considered to be a rather slutty thing to do plus it lowers your chances to ever meet your partner again by 50% at least. Second or third date is more probable and fourth date is like has-to-happen. If not, it will many times be considered as "she probably doesn't want me". Funny but tends to be true as is based on Daily Mail article and survey. I think this do-sth'n'go concept spread really rapidly now turning into have-sex'n'go. Gulp. 
*
Just the thing I heard: "I rather sleep with a guy on one of the first days. Why? Jeez, it's obvious - what if I date him for one month and then he just sucks?"
*
And other thing I heard: "If they did sleep together? I don't really know but I doubt they didn't. Why? Well, how can you be so obsessed about someone without sleeping with him?"

I guess my friend left with a feeling Europe is the most promiscuous place ever. It didn't really help last evening we went to an aquapark and you know what some couples do in jacuzzi. In this case about three couples and three different jacuzzis.
Also I failed to make a point I was originally heading to - it's just that we've learned to live with our sexuality like inteligent humans - using it for pleasure, not being obsessed or taking it as something extraordinary. When I first tried to talk about it while we sat in a sauna, I was interrupted by my friend saying: "Don't you want to put your towel back up? That man has been staring at your boobs for last ten minutes and by now he looks pretty obsessed."

Story of one relationship

It begun one evening, when I read Facebook status. It said: "Would anyone take a dog for temporary care?" I don't know what was it that moved me, but I started texting, calling, organizing and within few hours I was picking you at some petrol station.

You were a real personality already and looked twice bigger than it seemed from pictures. You looked pretty self confident and tried to escape the moment I opened the car's door. I'll never forgive myself that I left you home alone the first evening. But I guess you punished me by picking my pillow to be your bed and by making a pee next morning just in front of the elevator while neighbours were watching. 

I always felt it was you who was walking me. As every rational male you barked at the dogs which scared you and never came when I called. You were also very male to all the female - just a few sniffs, a bit of tail wiggling and bye-bye, let's move to the next one.

You were great. Strong personality, choosy and moody. It was temporary between us for a few months. I was showing you to warious people interested in adoption, you always embarassed us both by making a poo in the middle of a flower-bad. Then there was the time for the final decision and I just couldn't let you go. You stayed and I thought it was for ever. 

But we had only few months before you left. Forever. During one month when you were sick I understood how are people able to commit their whole life to some one thing like science. If scientists are as into their researches as I was into searching all the possible sources to find out how to help you, I utterly understand them. There is nothing you want but to finally solve it. It was one month of hope, despair, tears and your patience. Despite all the tubes around you, all the pain and suffering you never produced a sound. One day you just passed away and since that time I feel tears each time a see the rainbow. 

This is a farewell I should have written a long long time ago. So it's not even a farewell anymore. It's more of a tribute. 

Artificial Inteligence

My notebook played me again. It really did. Okay, now you must think I'm way blonder than you imagined I was. But! It's just that this notebook has it's own special periods when it prefers to stay disconected. He just ingnores all the possible wi-fi connections that are to be found. Over the years of relationship with this disconnecting-moody-monster I figured out it must be something more than technical problems.
 First time it disconected itself was at a big film festival I was supposed to write about and post updates every day zillion times (who's wearing what, who's with whom, what's that person wearing blahblahblah). Just a little time later (okay, half an year but so what?) I realised how stupid all that project was. My notebook was faster - it took him just a few minutes to get there and just go offline. Girl, you are not posting such a shit! It took four fat man in dirty T-shirts (that's how you recognize someone is an IT specialist in here) to persuade him to go back online and honestly - the only solution they came with was switching the firewall off. How IT is that?
Then I must have behaved real well for a long time cause we had no problems. Me and my notebook. Until few days ago when just out of nowhere it went offline again. No firewall helped this time. And you know, it really sucks when you have to crawl near your phone socket to go online, because the only way is to connect with this 30cm long phone cable. I am not utterly sure what stupid thing it was my notebook was trying to prevent me from this time. Maybe it was hoping to fix my love life by turning me into the girl that needs some strong and inteligent man to help. Actually, this one is quite probable since it is the project my whole family participates in leaded by my grandma (You are twenty one, still studying still no boyfriend?! Oh honey, I'm SO worried about you! No, I mean - no worries, it's okay, it's how it is these days. But still, have it ever crossed your mind you may stay single like...for a long time--erm--forever if you don't try? Oh no, you don't have to try but...blahblahblha again). No idea.
Anyway, today I just woke up, went to have a look and figured out my notebook is okay, fully connected. If anyone told me they are already testing artificial inteligence, I'd beleive. My notebook is a prototype and is clearly way smarter than me as it is not until half an year I usually get his message.

Post Scriptum

I wrote this post cause I don't feel like writing anything much more clever and also thought it's about the time I posted something. Brace yourself, next post will be called "To sex or not to sex" and will be about sex. This is an uncovered self promo, I know. Just seems as quite up-to-date topic as everyone is talking about sex because of Fifty Shades of Grey so why not to join the flow.

And here are some pictures. If you are trying to find the connection, don't, They is nothing that connects them to the post's topic. Just thought blog post with no pictures is not a blog post. Is it?

Shopaholic vol.1: Excuses

Everyone already saw or read Kinsellas's Confessions of a Shopaholic, so everyone is quite aware of what a shopaholic is. A weirdo buying clothes, gatgets and candles in IKEA for no obvious reason. That would make insignificant number of males, nearly every girl and me for sure.

I was always wondering how many excuses there are for a shopaholic female. Really, tell me anything and I'll tell you how that can make an excuse for buying some new piece of clothes.

Going to dentists? You need new t-shirt to calm you down before that torture.

Your cat died? Well, nice black dress is still appropriate.

Out of money on your credit card? Gosh, that must be a stress. Do a little shopping on your boyfriend's/friend's/parent's money to calm down.

Hungry? Go and shop! You will fit yourself in twice smaller jeans that usually!

Need to go to the loo? Great, you will be shopping fast, good strategy.

Actually this is the situation I caught myself at. Was wandering in a shop with "no obvious reason" (read as urge to buy everything I see).  For a second fourth lets be honest uncountable time this month. How do I explain it to myself? Ah. Of course. That's because of that guy I saw few times and thought he maybe likes me. Need to make an impression, right. So this new notebook, pencil, socks, umbrella, nailpolish, scarf and jeans are all because of him. That bastard.

Really, new boy in your way - the best possible excuse ever. It's somehow both awkward and touching how I can keep buying tones of new clothes just because I like someone. Nevermind boys don't really care if your purse matches your new shoes, if you have black, red or none nailpolish, if you a wearing a shirt with none, short, 3/4 or long sleeves. Honestly, the only thing they'd probably notice would be if you turned up wearing nothing but your bra. That would be a huge fashion success in the male attention field. So of course I go and buy a new bra but for some weird reason I also go and buy a bunch of t-shirts, sweaters, cardigans, necklases, blouses and scarfs to cover that only potentionally attractive piece.

Yep, that's it. Female logic in it's pureness.

Post Scriptum for those who managed to read till here and are still willing to continue

I am pretty aware that this is the worst possible topic I could pick for a first post since I just lost all my chances to gain male and not metrosexual readers. Seriously, guys don't be scared. You are probably already a bit weird if reading girl's blog so metrosexuality doesn't do you any worse. Plus well dressed guys who turn out not to be gay are seriously attractive.

Anyway, why the topic? Oh, well. As I mentioned previously, I'm old enough to keep forgetting things. So that makes me an excuse - I have to write thoughts down as soon as they cross my mind. Otherwise there will be nothing to write down just few minutes and wine glasses later.

Still young enough to blog

Well, I guess that's a lie already. Blogging was always thought to be a little teenage. But who cares, right? I mean, I am too old to be a crybaby, to buy plush toys, to eat jelly bears instead of dinner yet still I do all of that. And I'd bet I won't stop doing anything of those till I die.

So here we go. My brand new blog. I highly reccomend you to bet how long will I last. Don't go for more than two-digit number of days when you do so.